I have a gorgeous pink phone. I am going to learn salsa dancing. I am so pretty.

I am feeling feverish without the temperature.

A fleeting butterfly that was rather nice to chase around, but after some time, you grew tired and get distracted by other adventures or just want to chill and relax at some place familiar.

I feel that every feminist or anyone who is either interested or amused at feminism(s) should read this reading, “Dancing on the Mobius Strip: Challenging the Sex War Paradigm” by Bernadette Barton. It is essentially about the experiences of being a stripper – a degrading occupation or an empowering one?

 The researcher found out that it really depends on which “stage” a person may be at – like usually in the earlier stages, women tend to enjoy and feel in control because they are able to make men get excited, spend excessively and praise their bodies… but soon after, they will start to have a crisis of identity… whether their self value is based on how they look physically… they start comparing their bodies with others… and if they do not get enough money for the night and instead get insults and harassment from men, their self-esteem will plunge… a little like a self destructive drug… harms the body emotionally and physiologically as well. Not only strippers but also actors, porn stars and modeling… and others I suppose.

I have posted Sasha Grey’s interviews with Tyra Banks (and other related interviews) in my Facebook. Interesting how she felt that it was really her choice in wanting to be a porn star and she had no doubts about it. She strongly believes that the industry was what that created her to be what she is today – successful and confident… a sense of empowerment… true in the sense that she is right now very successful, the new face/in trend for the market now… so she will talk positively about it… of how it allowed her to discover her own sexuality and express her desires… the money it brings in and the legion of fans she has… but what happens once she is no longer in that position? What happens if she starts experiencing a certain trauma… or realizes the long term implications on her body – unprotected sex, infections from objects she inserts into herself and stretching her vagina walls that they most likely might become scarred and injured and unable to “close” up in the future.

Furthermore, she has become the spoke person for the industry, both a good and bad thing… there is nothing wrong with pornography… it is a legal occupation, one where you can put bread and butter on the table… yet she is no longer a reliable source for women/young girls who are thinking of become a porn star… she will be biased because the industry is paying her to put them in a positive light. I am not siding Tyra Banks either, hers is a commercialized talk show; of course they will have their own agendas.

A vicious cycle though – young girls watch porn, learning a certain sexualized identity… believing that they should look and act like that (mainly for males’ consumption, although females watch them too). They grew up with such a mindset (nothing wrong though but just a rather narrow mindset at that)… they will think that it is okay to get hit by other people, be called degrading names (once again, nothing wrong with that, some people may even find that sexy)… in the sense, they are “liberal” and do not repress their fantasies… yet I hope they will be constantly aware that, with such carefree-ness (I wanted to put shiokness), there will be risks as well… when you freefall, you never know whether the landing’s a safe one or not… when you freefall, do you prefer to enjoy the “high” you are feeling, rather than worrying about the possible undesirable consequences?